What is EMDR therapy like for teenagers?
Short answer
The same protocol, shorter sessions and more preparation. I meet parents once at the start and we agree what gets passed on; after that the room belongs to the young person. The pace depends on what the young person brings, their history and their circumstances — not on age itself.
I work with ages thirteen to eighteen. I do not work below thirteen, and that is not a formality — younger children need different training and a different kind of family involvement than my practice is set up to carry. For that age I will refer you to someone specific.
What changes compared with adults
- Sessions are often shorter, because attention is shorter — not because the work is smaller
- Preparation takes longer and is more concrete: drawing, a scale on fingers, an agreed stop signal
- I do not ask them to name feelings before they can; pointing at where in the body is enough
- More of the work is about what is happening now — school, sleep, the phone — not only the past
How involved parents are
The first call is with a parent or guardian, and that is where I hear the history and the worry. Then there is one session with the young person alone, without a parent in the room.
At the end of that session we agree three things together: what gets passed on to parents, what does not, and how we will know the therapy is helping. I say that agreement out loud in front of both of them, so there are not two versions of it.
What I always pass on, without negotiation, is a risk to safety. I say that to the young person in the first session, before they tell me anything — not afterwards.
If your child does not want to come
Do not bring them for processing. Bring them for one conversation on the understanding that they do not have to come back after it, tell them that in advance, and mean it.
A teenager brought against their will sits through the session, nothing is processed, and you have paid to confirm to them that they have no control. That costs more than waiting.
After the first conversation the room belongs to the young person — and so does the pace.
What parents ask me first
Will you tell me what my child told you?
Not verbatim, and we agree that in advance in front of both of you. You get what you need in order to help: how it is going, what is useful at home, and what we are working on in general terms. A risk to safety I always pass on, and your child knows that from the first session.
How many sessions will it take?
For a single recent event, usually six to twelve — often fewer than with adults. For something long-running, longer. I will give you a firmer number after the initial assessment rather than guessing in advance.
Does my child need a diagnosis or a referral?
No. Most of the young people who come have no diagnosis. If I think a psychiatric assessment is needed, I will tell you and explain why.
Do you work online with teenagers?
I do, but under sixteen I ask that the first few sessions are in person. They need a private room where nobody can hear them — which is harder to arrange at home than it sounds.
Start with a call, without your child
Twenty minutes on the phone, no charge. Tell me what is happening and we will work out whether your child should come at all.